Posted: May 12th, 2010 | Author: FibroChick | Filed under: Fibromyalgia | Tags: Fibromyalgia, Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, Sypmtoms | 8 Comments »
I have been trying to decide what to write about for Fibromyalgia awareness day. I thought -it better be magnificent. Maybe I could write about support, maybe a research post about the condition itself, maybe a post about symptoms so others could become ‘aware’. Then I realized, I have become aware. I have had such a long journey and I have finally become aware. I was diagnosed eighteen years ago. Do you know what Fibromyalgia was eighteen years ago? It was a catch all. It was a name that didn’t mean anything. It was a condition, but not really. A diagnoses, but not really. To most people it meant that someone was weak, lazy, depressed, whiney.
Until very recently I had never, not once, visited a specialist and had them say ‘this new symptom you’re experiencing is part of Fibromyalgia’. Until very recently it was like my body was made up of many different bodies all unrelated to each other, each taken care of by a different specialist. Each new symptom has been explored, tests have been run, and everyone has held their breath and held out for hope that this new symptom would lead us to what is really wrong with me. My mother- when I was a child, my family physician- always, my husband- as an adult and I have searched, what feels like, the world over. We have searched for the final puzzle piece that will make the picture of my illness clear. We are aware now, we are aware now.
Where symptoms associated with Fibromyalgia once were; tiredness, morning stiffness, aches and pain, anxiety and sleeplessness. They now include; hypoglycemia, TMJ, skin disorders, irritable bowel, restless legs, low blood pressure, cognitive overload, memory problems, nerve pain, myofacial pain, acid reflux, interstitial cystitis, vision changes, increased sensitivity, irritable bladder, among others. These are now clinically documented symptoms. I believe that this will ease the journey for those just developing this disorder. I believe that how far the science of Fibromyalgia has come will allow focus on what to do about it.
I am aware now.
Where once I was resentful to the doctor who diagnosed me for not bothering to figure out what was really wrong, now I am grateful that he recognized a condition others scoffed at.
Where once I was embarrassed to tell emergency room staff that I have Fibromyalgia, now I am empowered to help educate.
Where once I was searching for what was really wrong, now I am searching for how to make it right.
Where once I would not have asked for help when suffering from my condition, now I may reach out.
Where once I wouldn’t tell my neighbours, now I will wave, even when I get the mail at 3:00 p.m. in my pyjamas.
Where once I fought against my condition, now I will fight for it.
Where once I resented those who complained for making me look weak, now I am grateful, I am thankful, I am aware that you are the reason for this day.
Where once I was unaware, now I am aware.